“The first time in my life that I was all in”

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Dominic Monaghan gets brutally honest about heartbreak and sobriety.

In an interview with Anna Faris for her podcast Absolute, The Lost The alum, 45, is opening up about his split with co-star Evangeline Lilly, 43, saying he found out she cheated on him while the duo were filming the hit series, which ran from 2004 to 2010, in Hawaii.

“I’ve only had my heart broken once in my life,” the British actor began. “I was on a date with an actress Lost her name is Evangeline Lilly, which, you know, has a name of her own. And yeah, you know, I don’t really know how it would explain the narrative, but from my point of view, it was probably the first time in my life that I was kind of all in.”

Dominic Monaghan opens up about his ‘upsetting’ split with Evangeline Lilly. (Photo: John Stanton/WireImage)

The Lord of the Rings The star and Lilly dated from 2004 to 2007 before calling it quits.

Monaghan admitted that at the time, he and Lilly were “exploring” the idea of ​​children and marriage. but he was also battling his own demons, including a heavy drug and alcohol addiction, which Lilly didn’t like as their relationship grew more serious.

“I’ve always been the type to want more. I always wanted to drink more, take more, stay unknown for the last few days, go into sobs. And I just thought he was OK with it,” she said. “I think he was probably constantly exploring the idea of, ‘Well, that’s okay for a while, but, you know, he’s not going to be a great dad or a great husband because he’s got all this work to do.’ I certainly did.”

“I think she was looking around to see what else was an option, and unfortunately, there was a bit of a crossover, which was quite upsetting for me,” he continued. “It blew up in my face.

“It blew up in my face in a terrible way because not only do you break up in public, because at the time that TV show Lost it was kind of a big deal around the world, so it was known that we were together and then it was known that we weren’t.”

Although the couple did not explicitly comment on their split at the time, Monaghan admitted that she had cheated on him in a Tweet from 2013 when he replied to a message that read: “Evangeline looked unreal The Hobbitdude oh dude,” writing, “Nah. I don’t date cheaters.”

Dominic Monaghan and Evangeline Lilly (Photo by Michael Caulfield/WireImage for InStyle Magazine)

Dominic Monaghan and Evangeline Lilly, pictured here in 2005, met on the set of it Lost. Now, Monaghan looks back on their breakup and how it affected his journey to sobriety. (Photo by Michael Caulfield/WireImage for InStyle Magazine)

Monaghan explained the experience to Farris, explaining that someone had tipped him off that Lily was cheating on him with someone else while they were still filming Lost.

“To say I was devastated is an understatement,” he said. “I had to be told by a third party like, ‘You realize she’s with this guy,’ when we were together. And I said, “Wait, what?” And that person was like, ‘Yeah.'”

“I honestly believe they were trying to help,” he said of the messenger, whom he did not call by name. “It was kind of like, ‘You don’t have all the facts, and we do. And there’s a chance that, you know, the island of Oahu is laughing at you. And I said, “Oh, well, thanks for the transparency.”

The actor explained it Lost The crew “shot every location, every beach” on the island of Oahu, so there was no escaping the gossip. “I just felt like, oh, so the whole film crew knew and was keeping a secret about her,” she explained. “And I would kind of show up and be like a monkey asshole.”

However, there is a silver lining. While the experience was devastating, Monaghan says it gave him the fuel he needed to straighten himself out.

“I’ve broken up with girls before, and when I looked at it I thought, ‘Well, he’s a great person, but it would never work. It would just never work. There were things that would go wrong,” he shared. “But definitely, when I was with Evie, I was like, ‘She’s fine.’ The little things that, you know, we’re working on, we’ll figure it out. And we will make beautiful shapes with each other in eternity.’

“I think losing that opportunity was very sad, but it also led me to where I am as a person. So I’m very happy that it all happened,” he added.

This clarity, she explains, welcomed new perspectives on love and what the future holds.

“It’s probably the number one thing I’m most positive about in my life,” he said of his relationship with love. “And I challenge a lot of people not to lose hope and not feel like it’s messed up.

“You can be cynical about money and you can be careful who you spend your time with and things like that, but when it comes to love, you just have to give in and see what happens,” he added. “And you know, that’s the other thing about love, is that I want it to be effortless. I don’t want to work on it. You’ll work later when there’s a mortgage, and bills, and arguments to get over.”

When it comes to being in love, Monaghan hasn’t given up hope. “I want it [sweep] leave me off my feet, and take me over and become a thing of beauty,” he says.

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